This is for Carol, seeing as though she's the only other person with a dog who reads this.

Dog peeves about humans
1. Passing gas and blaming it on me... not funny...not funny at all !!!
2. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A DOG, YOU NUMBSKULL!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whosewalk is this anyway?4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew yourstuff up when you're not home.
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog!Woooo-Hooooooo!Oh, what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when Ifreak out every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but Ihaven't quite mast ered that handshake thing yet.
9. Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth,you're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things, We both know who's boss here (youdon't see me picking up your poop, do you?).