a little back story

When I was 13, my oldest sister, Lisa was killed in a car accident. She was only 17, almost 18. Obviously something this tragic can shape your life into ways you couldn't even imagine possible. That isn't the entire point, but this is were this story is going.

My Dad is "seeing" this lady, Mary who lives at this private airport by our house. I guess one day my Dad was telling Mary about Lisa and her accident and all the other baggage that came with it. Mary has a friend, Geanie. Mary was talking to Geanie about dating my Dad and whatnot. Mary was chit chatting with Geanie and brought up Lisa's accident and out of the blue, Geanie tells Mary that she knows about the accident very well. Turns out, Geanie's husband Walt, hit Lisa. Now this man lives in our town, I have never met him although he did come to the wake/funeral. I didn't notice, my mom however did. Geanie asked Mary and my Father over for dinner, even knowing that her husband killed my sister.

I cannot get over this at all. It's eating at me so badly. I mean, how would you feel if someone you love was taken away and your father decided to break bread with him? I asked my Dad if he was actually going to go, he said he really wasn't sure. I was telling my Mom about this conversation Dad and I had today. For some reason she knew exactly where the conversation was going and guessed about Walt.

My Mother never talks about Walt, she will talk about Lisa, but never the man who hit her. My Mom is a eucharistic minister at our church; she hands out wafers and wine. Walt goes to our church. She has to serve him communion. This man who killed her daughter, and she has to serve him the bread of life. What bullshit is that?

I cannot tell you how upset this entire thing has made me. I suppose it really gives "turn the other cheek" a new meaning. I was actually crying while talking to my Mom about this on the ride home from work. I had to journal this, I had to get all these shitty feelings out.